Thursday, August 30, 2007

Dodo's Production - "Starting of Lesbian?"

Author : Dodo

Featuring: Dodo, Kepo and Myst3

The weekend was hell. Dodo wandered around the apartment trying not to feel miserable. Every nook and cranny reeked of Myst. In an act of extreme desperation, she'd called Jane aka Kepo on her cell phone Saturday at midnight and spilled her guts. Ever eager to help, Jane had ended her date with *Munak*, boobs analyst early and rushed over. Well, if u could call three in the morning early. Her loopy style of comfort, lotsa fruit juice and deep breathing exercises, had left Dodo oddly, if temporarily, calm. Or zonked out on too much fructose n oxygen. Either way it was an improvement.
She hadnt wretched in over 5 hours at da thought of Myst's big announcement.

Dodo padded down the hall from the bedroom where she'd slept after their all-nighter. Dodo lay curled in a fetal position on her sofa - correction - Myst's freaking pain-in-the-ass-to-keep-clean sofa. She couldnt even lie there and mourn without breathing in the scent of him.

"Did u sleep at all?" Jane said as she dropped down on the smaller sofa facing Dodo. "I must have drifted off at 8 this morning."

"A lil i think," Dodo said.

"Wat time is it?"

"Wow! it's almost almost 2." Jane hopped up.

"Oh God," Dodo muttered.

"Cmon! Lets eat. Want or not.. Durian???" Jane said in a hunger of Durian..
as thats her favourite of all ..

"No!" Dodo grabbed a large pillow and covered her head.

'You've got to keep ur strength up. Wat about a nice Durian ice blended..
yummy~~? " Jane's tone was coaxing, like a mother talking to a toddler. =)

"I cant," Dodo howled.

"Okay, then i'll fix ur favourite lor.. Bak pau?" Jane stood up and started for the kitchen.

"Oh God, my life could not suck worse than it does right now!"

"There, there now.. Bak pau for u lah.. " Jane joined her on the sofa.

She was patting Dodo's shoulder when da doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Jane answered cheerily.

Dodo sat bolt upright and pulled her friend back by da arm. "No, dont. It's him!

"He's come for the rest of his stuff," she whispered.


"Shhh... i cant bear to see him. Not this soon. Just be quiet and he'll go away."

Dodo trembled. The thought of looking into his hazel eyes filled her with dread. The doorbell rang a second, then third time in quick succession.

"Dodo, I ...."
"If u value our friendship, don't move!"

Dodo gripped her arm tighter.

Jane pulled against her hold and shook her head with a tolerant smile.

"Don't be silly."

"If u value ur life, dont move!" Jane squinted at her.

The doorbell rang for a fourth time, this time followed by a man's voice.

"Open up. Police investigation! Get the damn door opened!"
huh???? there.. all in a sudden.. neighbour's lodged a report saying that there's sth goin on in the neighbourhood when they heard the arguement between Dodo n Myst.

Transformers for Girls

Finally, transformers for girls

Optimus Pony




Knew it's coming


A bull pierced its horn onto one of the spectator's leg.


Wife's Night Out

Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing....You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports and play on the internet all night...You hear her stumble into bed around 4 and laugh knowing she's going to have a monster hangover....You wake up the next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night....You sigh in relief because it's all in one piece....You circle the car looking for dents and find none....But .... Wait a minute... .









Important Warning about Cooking

Warning About Bacon Grease

The question is: Do you use bacon grease?

We were raised on bacon grease (lard) as kids and even into adulthood.

I will never use it again. I hope you will throw yours away whenever you fry bacon from now on.

It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.


This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. This is a warning, send this to everyone you care about. It could happen to you......or them.












Sunday, August 26, 2007

Test for the Brain

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. if you don't use it, you'll lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?








Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times.




Now spell "silk."



What do cows drink?








Answer: Cows drink water.

If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question.

Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made







Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.

If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???

If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?













Answer: You don't bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.

Q5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus; InReading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on.You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What was the name of the bus driver?












Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

Priceless Photos

Priceless: Duct taped boobs together

Priceless: His Mask has a skid mark

Priceless: Bust in and snap a picture while you're fucking some chick
Priceless: Passing out spread eagle in a parking lot

Priceless: Photo snapped without underwear
Priceless: Trying to get inside the panties

Priceless: Pissed in the pants

Priceless: Tampon string hanging out
Priceless: Friends acting like a couple of FAGS
Priceless: Little Johnny coming out to play
Priceless: Photo of your tits hanging out
Priceless: Shagging a whale

Priceless: taking a quick restroom break
Just Priceless

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Pub Sign

This is by far the best pub sign I've ever seen

Detective Chen Lee

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone.

A few days later, he received this report:














Sunday, August 19, 2007

Dinner and the Blimp

The other night, my friend and I went to the Pullman Restaurant. Pullman restaurant is located in the vicinity of the casino here. We had the buffet deal, which cost us $A30++ per head. $A30++ would consider a bit expensive for meals, even for buffet meals. Anyway the food there were not exotic or spectacular, nor flavor explosive. There were a total of 10 hot meals to choose from, mainly Chinese and Western. I didn’t take any photos of the meal, because they don’t look good at all. I did take 2 photos from the dessert area. These photos are mainly for the ladies, because I just know that it would make them go crazy over it.

So here you go!

I’m not so much a sweet tooth, so I've only ended up with one of those white caramel pudding (the one shown below).

Ladies, are you drooling?

On a different note, the Red Holden Blimp is out! I don’t know what the occasion is, but, last time the blimp was out during CLIPSAL 500 (V8 Car Race Event). Wouldn’t mind having a ride in them one day!

*Imagine riding them to go Melbourne or Brisbane to visit Calvin and Alvin, how good would that be..!!!*

The Candy Grabber

Look at what I’ve got my hands on now…
It’s a candy grabber.

This little machine is so addictive.

It is a mini size of the toy grabber you’ll get to see on the malls or arcades. This mini machine has candy instead of the toys! And it takes tokens too.

Click video below to see the candy grabber in action.

P/s: Don't know why I'm feeling pretty gothic lately. Thus the little doll!

Monday, August 13, 2007

V for Versus

I went out yesterday, saw this sunnies displayed in the shop.
I looked at my old one (a Morrissey), and thought
“Fuck it…it’s time for a new one!”
Went in and bought this.
I wanted a Versace but I thought I’ve got one already, its time for others.
Apparently the shop assistant told me that Versus and Versace are the same company, and Versus are marketed for younger people.
I am in debt now!

Dodo's Production - "Myst3's Secret"

Author : Dodo
Featuring: Dodo, Alvin and Myst3

"Myst, Yang, whr r u?"

"In the bedroom,"

Dodo headed to da kitchen whc was done in shiny blue n white tile. This is Dodo's domain, she loved to cook. Dodo poured herself a glass of milk n then went bck to da hall.

"well cmon out here n tell me about ur day."

myst strolled out. 5 9", he had wide shoulders that tapered down to a broad chest. His waist n hips were narrow. Wit skin the color of white choco, he turned heads when he entered a room. He dressed in a Ralph Lauren cotton knit shirt the color of black sand tucked into barley white pants. Muscular arms looked more like they were accustomed to lifting weights. Dodo smiled up at him from the sofa. She fiddled with the button on her silk lingerie.

"Dodo yang, we need to talk,"
Myst wore a sober expression.

"Sure, sweet thing. i like it when u talk to me," Dodo leaned forward to be sure he had a view of her plunging demi-bra. She gav him a saucy smile.

Myst turned away n clasped his hands together.

"Dont do tat. Im serious, ok?
It's about us... me."

Something in his tone sent a shiver of anxiety down her spine. Dodo suddenly felt exposed, vulnerable. Dodo hurriedly pulled her blouse closed.

"Sounds like we both need a glass of water."

She tried to tease him out of his grin mood.

"Damn right. I'll get it."

She watched him thru the pass-thru window tat allowed a view of the kitchen from the hall. The oak shutters were pulled bck. Myst poured himself a glass of wine, drank from it then filled the glass again. He sighed n walked back to hall. Dodo set her glass down. Her patience was wearing thin. For months
now she'd played understanding woman to his blue moods. After all, they'd been lovers, frens since long ago. But she'd reached her limit.

"Myst, wats up with u? If ive done sth to make u mad?"

"Nonono. Its nt anythin u've done,"

myst answered hastily bt then stopped. he raked his fingers thru his hair.

"Then wat??!! Look, we've known each other too long. u can talk to me."

"I dont know where to begin. This is different." myst twisted his hands n paced in front of her.

Dodo felt tears forming in her eyes, pushing to get out.Suddenly all the distance she'd felt btwn them made perfect sense.

"Uve found someone else."

"Its more complicated than tat. i've found me, a different me than ive ever allowed myself to be." Myst stopped pacing n looked at her steadily.

She felt a shiver of relief. Dodo got up.

"An identity crisis? Yang, everyone approaching 25 goes thru tat kinda thing." He stopped back when she
reached for him.

"Right! im coming to terms with being the person i really am, n i always hav been." Myst nodded with vigor.

Dodo's eyes narrowed. "So, does this finding the real Myst3 also include findin another woman?"


Myst pursed his lips for a second then sighed.

"Its a man.."

"Excuse me?" dodo's heart stopped. "Did u juz say MAN?"

"Ive been struggling with this sexual identity Q for yrs, yang. n i hope u love me enough to understand. im gay, or at least i think i am." The words spilled out in a rush.


Dodo repeated the word in a dazed voice. The floor seemed to tilt beneath her feet as the walls closed in on her. Her heart began to thump so hard it hurt. She started to hyperventilate.

Myst leaned toward her with a look of concern on his cute face. "Wow yang. Jus take slow n steady breaths!" When he reached out a long arm to brace her, Dodo jerked away.

"dont touch me u - U!!" she hissed.

dodo fell back onto the sofa like dead weight... she couldnt have lifted her legs if she'd tried. She panted 3
times then caught her breath. "Oh God!" she gasped finally.

"I never wanted to hurt u yang." Myst sat on the sofa but at a safe distance. dodo put a hand to her forehead. "OH GoD," she kept mumbling.

" I care about u, yang. n thats the truth. its juz that. im tired of denying wat i really feel. Ive met someone -"
"Oh god!" now dodo sprang from the sofa. "Did u...while were ..." She sputtered.

"Of coz not..! I;d nve do anything to put u at risk or betray u."

"How damn noble u r, Myst.! No imagine u juz started flirting wit ur future BF. i feel so much damn better knowing how much u care!" Dodo shouted as she swung her arms around.

"ALvin ???!!! is it him??""

" Yang, calm down. Pls," myst said, his voice shaky.

"Don call me YANG again or i'll throw up all over this freaking white furniture tat u insisted we buy."

"Yang - dodo, dont. this is hard enough for me."

"Its always about u, isnt it, myst.? This sofa, these stupid prints tat i don even like." She tried to think of all the ways in whc she'd bent her life to wat myst wanted. Dodo looked down at her clothes.

"I;d dress in red bcoz u like it. U prefer wantan mee, so i eat it. U like sex, so i talk about sex with ya. Everything i do is centered on u." Dodo walked in circles as she talked.

"yang pls.Don do this to urself."

Dodo came to a halt n faced him,defiantly both hands on her hips. "wat about when we made luv? u were pretending to hav an erection huh?"

"Lower ur voice, Dodo. These walls arent very thick. Ure a desirable, sensuous woman. its juz .... "

"Myst. im mad as hell right now. i wouldnt get too close if i were u. "

Dodo's voice shook as tears slid down her face.

" i didnt choose to feel what i feel.. ive been fighting it for yrs. Dodo, u mean the world to me. If i could change n believe me i tried, i'd do it for u."

Myst closed his eyes n wiped the tears from his face with both hands.

She turned her back to him. "Now wat?" she whispered, her voice hoarse from shouting n anguish.

"I'll move over to Alvin's," he said quietly n went down the hall. mins later he came bck with 2 large suitcases.

"Moving in with him?!! i suppose so. Ha!" Dodo kept her bck to myst.

"Yang, its about him. its about really being who i am for once in my life. i gotta do it for him. Goodbye, dodo yang." Myst waited.

"Pls, i knw its a shock but cant we..."

"Leave. Just go!" Dodo hugged herself tight. She felt as though she were flying apart.

The soft thud of door closing went thru her like a bullet. She collapsed to the floor n sobbed uncontrollably.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Dinner @ Cafe Michael 2

It's Dinner time,
We went to Cafe Michael 2, authentic Thai restaurant
Traditional Chili Squid with Vegetables

$A 18.90
Pork with Thai Basil and Vegetables

$A 17.90

1. By far the BEST, and the MOST authentic Thai dishes I have ever experienced for a long long time.
2. We have ordered another dish too, Red beef Curry with vegetables, coconut milk and spices ($A18.90), was too hungry to take photos.
3. It might look ordinary, but every little edible pieces are packed and infused with Thai spices.
4. Highly recommended! worth every single penny! Millions thumbs up.

2 Interesting Videos

Have been watching lots of videos on the net
Just to share 2
This is how you should eat your burgers.
Me hungreee~

For all the girls that LOVE Pink
(time to lub another color)

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Dodo's Story (Final)

Author: Dodo (Doreen)

Previous segment can be found here

Dodo rushed out to Chris.
Dodo: Well? What did he say?
Chris: He said he didn’t have a GF.
Dodo: Oh. Bullshit!
Chris: I know.
Dodo: And?
Chris: He said to tell u when u grew up to call him. He might be around.
Dodo: What da hell is tat supposed to mean?!!!
Chris: I don’t know. U’re the one who was with him the other night. I’m juz telling u wat he said.

Dodo glared out the window wishing she hadn’t stayed in the back after all. What she needed was to give the two-timing dog piece of her mind.

(Oh to hell with that. I don’t need the stress of it. I can do just fine by myself. I’m a strong woman, with a strong mind.)

Almost a month later, Dodo was feeling a lil better. Her face had started to heal more and some of the scars had already faded. Still there was a large bruise under one eye. And better still, she hadn’t needed a man to help her. She had done it all on her own. Yup, she was feeling better than she had in a long, long time.


*Tut* finished up his performance and made his way thru the crowd. Since he’d come back, things just hadn’t been the same. He was even more tired than he had been before. Something he would have thought impossible had he not been experiencing it. He couldn’t concentrate much on his music. But then he knew. He missed Dodo. He missed her craziness and just everything. He laughed as he remembered each jokes that Dodo told him the other night. Now that had been fun. Tossing back his drink, he realized how much he missed her. “U don’t need this crap,” He told himself. No he didn’t. He was a big boy with a-big-boy job and and a big-boy dreams. The last thing he needed was some half-baked chick screwing up his life. But then, when had life ever been about what he needed? He was a musician living a life a dream. Nope, his life was all about what he wanted. And right then, he wanted Dodo.

Dodo woke up to a lazy Saturday. Scratching her head, she poked around the kitchen looking for food. She poured her oat into a large big bowl, then added milk and drank the mixture.

Sitting down at the table, she flipped thru the paper. Nothing but crime about. And a long, boring weekend ahead. Ugh!! She couldn’t wait. She yawned as someone knocked her door. It was the flower boy who was there to deliver the flowers for Dodo.

Dodo closed the door and headed back to the kitchen. She was just about to send them to the same place as the last four million roses that Fred had sent when something made her stop. A strange feeling prickled the back of her neck and before she could stop herself, she looked at the small card.

I hope u get these. I’ve called u a million times n either the phone is busy or no one answers. Call me! *Tut*”

For a full min, she didn’t move. All she could do was stare at the note.
(Juz who the hell does he think he is? Anger rips thru me at the very moment. Call me?! Hah!)

Furious, she tossed the flowers in the trash and ground the card up in the garbage disposal. (Rot in hell! What an intolerable jerk!)

The phone rang. Without thinking, Dodo picked it up. “Hello?”
“Well, it’s about….”
She slammed her cell phone down as soon as she heard *Tut*’s voice.
The phone rang again. She answered it.
“Dodo?” *Tut* asked timidly.
“Bite me. Ugh!!” This time, she turned the ringer off and tossed her cell phone on the table.

Forty mins later, there was another knock on the door. Still seething, she didn’t bother to look thru the peephole. This time, she was sure it was flowers from Fred. Opening the door, she froze as she saw *Tut* standing in front of her. Oh but he looked good. He’d gotten some sun on his face and the warm breeze ran thru his dark hair. He had circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept much and that damn fresh scent of his blown toward her, reminding her juz how good he had felt in her arms.

Dodo let out a curse, then she slammed the door and shut. Or at least she tried to. Unfortunately, *Tut* had put his foot in the way. Furious, she leaned her weight against the door and struggled to close it with or without his foot there to block it.

“Lay off the freaking door before I break my foot,” *Tut* snarled, forcing her to open it wider. He entered her house limping.

*Tut*: U know, they make it look easy in the movies. But hell it’s NO k.”
Dodo: Get out! (She was looking around for a weapon.)
*Tut*: Look, we need to…. What happened to ur face?!!
Dodo: Get out!! (Dodo picked up one of her flowers off the table in her hall and throwing it at him)
*Tut*: Don’t! U’ll juz have to clean up the mess when I leave.

Dodo paused. But only for an instant before she threw it as well. At least cleaning up the mess would give her something to do. Before she could grab another batch of flowers, *Tut* caught her arms.

*Tut*: What’s wrong with u?
Dodo: U unbelievable bastard!!! U run off with some chicks named Jess and then juz show up here like ….
*Tut*: Jess?? Who’s Jess??

The confusion on his face was too real to be faked.

Dodo: Isn’t she ur GF?!
*Tut*: Hell no lah! The only Jess I know is my sis-in-law lah.
Dodo: Ur wat??!! Sis-in-law??? U mean u sleep with ur sis-in-law???!! Oh god, u’re even more disgusting than I thought of.
*Tut*: Oi! I don’t sleep with my sis-in-law. Juz what the hell is all this about anyway???
Dodo: When u didn’t call me on that day, I called ur office, n the receptionist I spoke to said u left town. She said u left a message for Jess to keep ur bed warm for u, u Bastard!!!
*Tut*: Hahaha… Dodo. Ms Ling our receptionist is such an idiot lar. U can’t listen to half of what she says. When I got to work on that day, I had a message from my agent. He had me booked a performance in Johor for two weeks.
Dodo: Wat??!
*Tut*: They had some other guitarist but he had to cancel at the last min. I didn’t even get a chance to pack. My agent ordered me outta door n even drove me to the airport. I tried to call u right before I boarded the plane but no one answered.
Dodo: Wat about Jess keeping ur bed warm??!!!
*Tut*: Remember I told u about Sam n his wife lived in Johor?

Vaguely Dodo recalled him mentioning it.

*Tut*: As soon as my agent told me I had to go to Johor, I called Jess n Sam to tell them I was coming. Sam was on duty and wasn’t home so I told Jess I’d be around 5. It wasn’t till we were on route to other places that I found out I wouldn’t be able to get to their house till 9 or so. I knew Jess would panic n call to look for me if I didn’t get to her house by 5 so I tried to call her back, but she’d already left for work. I then left a message for her to call my cell number. I was afraid either she would call it or u would while I was on the plane so I had the number forwarded to work. I told Ms Ling to tell Jess I would be late n to make sure I could get to the bed. They’ve got 3 kids n the guest room is usually piled to the ceiling with toys mah. Haih …I should have known Ms Ling would screw it up.

(Dodo bit her lips as she absorbed his excuse. Did she dare believe him? Is it true? Could it be really have been something so stupiak?)

*Tut*: U must have gone crazy when she told u tat huh. Gosh!
Dodo: U have no idea.
*Tut*: Ow!
Dodo: Y didn’t u call me? (She asked, still not sure if she should trust him.)
*Tut*: I tried at least 6 times a day. I never could get thru it.
Dodo: Well, I was in the hospital.
*Tut*: So I see. What happened?
Dodo: An accident.

Concern darkened his eyes as he gently traced the healing scar on her cheek.

*Tut*: Why didn’t u call to tell me?
Dodo: Coz I thought u’re with Jess lah.
*Tut*: Ugh!!! I’m gonna kill Ms Ling.

It was then Dodo knew he wasn’t lying. There was too much anger in his voice. Too much care in his eyes. He meant it. And in that moment, she felt as if she could fly. *Tut* cared! For some reason, she actually meant something to him.

*Tut*: I want u to know tat had I known about ur accident I would have hopped the next plane home. I can’t believe I wasn’t here. God, u look like u barely survived it.
Dodo: It’s alright lah.
*Tut*: Jeez man! I wish I’d known.
Dodo: Never mind lah. U’re here now. Tat’s better than not being here at all, right?

*Tut* leaned over and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. (Ow… isn’t that sweet?)

*Tut*: U had breakfast yet?”
Dodo: Not really.
*Tut*: Cmon, let me show u the great Chef Omelet. Hehe.
Dodo: I don’t need u to take care of me.
*Tut*: I know u don’t. U can definitely take care of urself. But u’re hurt and I wanna take of u.
Dodo: What about my scars?
*Tut*: I told u before, Dodo. I like u and it’ll take more than an idiot receptionist and a car accident to make me go away lah.
Dodo: Really?
*Tut*: Really lah.

And for the first time since she could remember, she let herself believe a man’s words. *Tut* led her into the kitchen where he set about making her breakfast. While she waited, Dodo sat down at her kitchen table n starting flipping thru the latest Cleo mag which Yy had given her in the hospital.

*Tut* poured her a glass of milk and brought it to the table. Feeling the hair on the back of her rise, Dodo looked up to see *Tut* staring at the ad with a frown on his “eng tao” face.

“What?!” She asked

He shook his head as he set her glass down in front of her.

Man, someone needs to give that chick a cheeseburger and make her eat it.
Dodo smiled. Yeap, it was definitely love she was feeling this morning. Here I again, she thought with a sigh. But something deep inside told her this time it might be different.

==========The End ===========

Background Song

This is the song that the author requested as background music for both of the story. Enjoy

Dodo's Story (Continue 5)

Author: Dodo (Doreen)

Previous segment can be found here

Two weeks later, Dodo sighed as she sat in by the window. Smiling happily, finally Dodo felt a lil relief that she’s finally getting back into her old routine.

“Dodo?” Yy gaped as she came thru her room door.

Before she could answer, Dodo peeked around the corner to see *Tut* coming in, removing his sunglasses.

Dodo: OMG!!
(Dodging behind the window to keep him from seeing me.)

Yy: What?” Yy asked.
Dodo: The guy who juz heading towards here… U have to go out there n tell him that I died or something ok? Hell, tell him I no longer stay here.
Yy: Ok-ok…

*Tut* stared blankly at Yy in front of him. “What do u mean she went to Aus?”
Yy juz shrugged. “She said she needed a major vaca n off for it.”
Locking his jaw, *Tut* nodded. Fine, he knew a brush-off when he heard one.
“Well, tell Miss Dodo …..”


He looked around to see Chris coming.

Chris: What r u doing here?
*Tut*: I came to see Dodo, but this chick said she took off to Aus for a vaca.
Chris: Haha. Tat sounds like Dodo, doesn’t it?
*Tut*: And she’s avoiding me.
Chris: Do u blame her?
*Tut*: Hell, yes I blame her.
Chris: My~ that’s some ego u’ve there. U play around on her n then …
*Tut*: Play around on her?!!! Your receptionist told her u were off with ur other lover for a meeting.
*Tut*: My wat??!!!
Chris: Juz like a man to deny it. Isn’t it, Yy?
*Tut*: Look I don’t know wat u heard, but I don’t have another lover k.
Chris: Well duh. If that’s true, then u have a lot of explaining to do to Dodo.
*Tut*: Well, I’d be happy to if I could ever find her lah.
Chris: Have u tried her cell phone?
*Tut*: Yealah. I tried it thousands times d but no one answered.
Chris: Then keep trying lah.
*Tut*: U know, I’m too old to be playing these high school games. Tell Dodo when she grows up to call me. I might still be around then, but most likely not.

And with that, he headed to his car. To hell with her, he thought. He really didn’t need this shit.

Monday, August 6, 2007

MSN's Picture Confusion

Do I (refering to the picture below)
look like a camel?
The other day I was chatting with Alvin on MSN, and this was his MSN's display photo.
The Conversation:

Myst3RY says:
why do ya have a camel in ur msn?

Alvin... says:
camel? where?

Myst3RY says:
er..ur msn display picture?

Alvin... says:
that's a koala

Myst3RY says:
is that not a camel?

Myst3RY says: i see koala.....It looks like farking camel lying sideway on the floor

Alvin... says:

Myst3RY says:
dunno if you see it or not

Alvin... says:
hmmm.. dont see it, did you just smoke weed?
Alvin, this is why and how I saw a camel from the picture.
Anyone here see Camel rather than Koala?
Try standing back from the screen, and blur your focus.
Maybe it's just me getting old.
Eye sight ain't that sharp as it used to be.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Only in Australia

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish Pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit onSwedish Furniture and watchAmerican shows on aJapanese TV.

Oh and...... Only in Australia ...

Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ...
Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ...
Do people order double cheeseburgers, large Fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia ...
Do banks leave both doors open and chain the Pens to the counters.

Only in Australia ...
Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia ...
Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia ... Are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

* 3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
* 58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
* 31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
* 8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
* A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. And finally.........

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Dodo's Story (Continue 4)

Author: Dodo (Doreen)


Previous segment can be found here

“Dodo? U hear me?”

Dodo came awake slowly to the sound of Yy’s commanding, somewhat irritated voice. At first, she thought she had fallen asleep at her desk again. Until she tried to move n couldn’t. Panicking, she opened her eyes and met Yy’s concerned look. Her throat was so sore tat she could barely swallow. The strong smell of antiseptic stung in her nose n she heard the beeps from a monitor over her left shoulder.

Looking around, she took in the small hospital room as well as the faces of Chris n her classmates who were crowded around her bed to see her.

“Oh thank God.” Chris breathed as she took Dodo’s right hand in hers. “We’re scared to death u’re in a coma or something ler.”

In tat instant everything came rushing back. Dodo remembered the car tat had cut them off n Fred yelling as he swung over into traffic. Worst of all, she recalled the bike skidding n falling n her body tumbling thru the air, then across pavement tat seemed to tear up her skin. The last thing she remembered was coming to rest beneath the front end of a car. Of staring up at an engine n feeling the heat of it on her face as sirens rang out in the background. N then everything had gone black.

“The guy u’re with is ok,” Chris told her. “He banged up his leg, but they sent him home a lil while ago.”

“Did I break anything???” Dodo asked.

Yy shook her head. “U hav a concussion n hit ur head pretty hard on the street. The doc wants to keep u here for a few days n juz to c how u’re doin before u go home alone.”

Everyone had been assuring her tat she’s alright n it wasn’t till the next morning tat Dodo fully understood their words. It wasn’t juz her head tat had been hurt. It was her face. N the doc explained cheerfully tat he assured Dodo tat he can do a nice job though she won’t quite look the way she did before the accident.

As his words filtered thru her mind, Dodo could feel the tears rolling down from the corner of her eyes. N she couldn’t even wipe them! Something tat was hard for a gal who prided herself on being self-sufficient.

*Tut* came off from the stage feeling re-energized. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this good about a performance.
(They had actually liked him! No, not juz liked, they had loved him. Man, a guy could get used to this. The only thing was me. If he could juz have me there to share it, it would be even better, right? Sighs….)

By the time *Tut* made it back to his apartment, he was exhausted. Man, how did rock bands manage such tours? It was hell on the body. He threw himself on his sofa n dialed Dodo’s number. The one good thing was that he had finally learned it by heart. Again it rang n the answering machine tat she set on her cell phone picked up. “Ugh!!!” he snapped, tossing the phone away. He was an attractive guy, he didn’t need to waste his time on some chick who couldn’t be bothered to even phone him once in a while. He had more important things to do. Leaning bck, he closed his eyes n pushed Dodo completely out of his thoughts.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Wedding of the Year

I would like to share with you one of the worst experiences of my life.
As you know, I don't like weedings, and usually with good reason. There now follows the reason why I don't like weddings.
So here you will see the motley collection of Groom, Best Man and other assorted males. The one sporting the red shirt and trainers is the Groom.
I think some confusion must have ensued as to what the dress code actually was. Some red ties, some black and one with no tie whatsoever.
I also thought the choice of location for the photographs was also quite astonishing. Opposite the church was a row of garages, and it appeared to be the most suitable backdrop, presumably to prevent any upstaging of the men here pictured And so, as if couldn't get any worse, the bride arrived...
Not everyone can pull off such a vibrant red, but here i think they manage it quite well.
Now in my experience there is usually a bride, a couple of thin bridesmaids and one great wopping on on the end. But in this case the FAT bridesmaid has become the bride.
Alarm bells, should, incidentally, be ringing around now.
If they aren't they will be soon.
Deciding that the backdrop may actually improve the picture, the happy couple strolled into an adjoining field for this wonderful picture.

It was noted during the exposure of this wonderfully composed image that the groom's head was roughly the same size as her left breast, and probably contained a similar sort of substance.

This is one of my favourites.
What is she showing us here? A severe case of knee gout?
whatever it is she is doing, the husband is in even more fine fettle than certainly i thought was possible.

Mentally disabled is probably the term best used here.
or FAT PIG and ugly little WEASEL. I'm sure they have the same effect.

Here, let you help you up

Our good looking groom is apparently reaching for something and having trouble locating it.
Perhaps a forklift truck might help raise the blockage???

I think this proves to us all that there is someone out there for all of us.

let's just hope they don't breed.

Kamasutra by FHM

This is a clip from FHM ladies featuring Kamasutra.
Titled - 28 days: 1 day for one position.
A person as innocent as me, do not understand a single bit of the video (hehe!)
Anyone care to tell me?
Underage Children Click here

Dodo's Story (Continue 3)

Author: Dodo (Doreen)
Previous segment can be found here

By noon, Dodo had stared at the phone so much, she thought she might be going blind.

Yy: Oi, wat r u doing?
Dodo: I’m waiting on a call.
Yy: From?
Dodo: *Tut*.
Yy: *Tut*? Guitar *Tut* ar?
Dodo: Ana. Abeh whoelse.
Yy: Why?
Dodo: He told me he would call me later ler.
Yy: Call u later. When?
Dodo: I don’t know lar. That’s why I’m staring at the phone lar.
Yy: Could u please elaborate?
Dodo: We spent the whole night together.
Yy: Oh gosh Dodo, u didn’t sleep with him, did u?
Dodo: Wah kao...mai siao lar. Where got so sui bian. Of coz I didn’t.
Yy: Will u nvr learn? U don’t juz go yamcha with a guy whole night then expect him to call. Really Dodo, u hav to take time n develop a relationship first ma. Didn’t ur mum ever tell u a man won’t buy a cow when he gets milk for free?
Dodo: Watever.
Yy: Then call him lar.
Dodo: Wat?
Yy: Call him. Do u know his number?
Dodo: Yeah.
Yy: Then call him lar. Aiyo.
Dodo: Will u stand here while I do it?
Yy: Why?
Dodo: I need moral support lar.
Yy: Ok. If it’ll make u feel better, I’ll stand here till u two get mushy lah.

Dodo dialed *Tut*’s work number.
Dodo: Um, yeah. Can I speak to *Tut* please?
Receptionist: I’m sorry. He’s not in.
Dodo: Oh? When will he be back?
Receptionist: I don’t know. He juz took off this morning n didn’t say anything. Oh wait, yeap he did. He left me a msg to tell Jess that he’d be late for dinner tonite so keep it warm n be ready for him. R u Jess?
(The moment I heard tat name I was like WAT??!! I couldn’t answer the woman on the phone.)

Receptionist: Miss? R u Jess?
(Numbly, I hung up the phone.)

“Dodo?” Yy asked. “U ok bor?”

Dodo couldn’t speak. It was all she could do to juz sit there n not scream. Who the hell was Jess anyway??!!! His gf???!! This was real n *Tut* had been two-timing them both. (I ain’t know if this is the right term of saying it. Instead of wat ….one leg steps two boats huh?? Duh. Whatever it is…juz skip that part yah.)

Tears gathered in her eyes n Dodo struggled to hold them back. *Tut* had toyed her feelings, lied to her and left without a word. Damn him!! Damn his sorry, rotten egg!!
(Jeez man! Yy was right. I’m a cow. A big, dumb, stupiak cow!)

She had to get outta here. Outta room right now! She needed time to think. Time to …. Oh, she didn’t know wat she needed other than a break. She snatched up her bag and headed out.

“Dodo!” Yy called out.

Still she didn’t stop. She didn’t wanna talk right now. She juz wanna be left alone to sort thru her conflicting emotions. Dodo headed to her “Green Beetle” n decided the mall was juz wat she needed.

For an hour and a half, she went to stores, charging like a bull. Yeah, she’d hav a time paying for it, but right now she juz wanted to pamper herself. Dammit, she saved hard for her money n it’s hers to spend.

By the time she got bck to the home 3 hours later, she felt a lil better. But *tut* was still a babi! A big, hairy, nasty, three-toed, tree babi!

Yy: Hey Do. U okay?
Dodo: Fine.
Yy: Did u do something to ur hair at lunch ar?
Dodo: I got it cut. Bob haircut. Wat’d u think?
Yy: It’s cute.
Dodo: But it makes my face stand out right? I thought so too. So I made an appointment with Dr. Lim.
(I asked as I began clicking for my email.)

Yy: That crazy fella who advertises his plastic surgery clinic on tv??
Dodo: Same lar. They’re havin a special two-one thing. I figured I could get my eyes fixed n hav him suck some fat outta my ass.
Yy: Dodo! Don’t be stu lar.

Dodo was tired of being Dodo. She wanted to be someone else for a while. Maybe if she changed her hair, her style, n got new face, she’d feel better. Anything would be an improvement at this point. N at any rate, she couldn’t feel any worse about herself than she felt at this moment. An eye job could only be a step up.

As her housemate’s annoyance broke out on her behalf, Dodo felt overwhelmed by her loyalty n luv, n before she knew it, she’s crying!!! Yy hugged her as she sobbed out the pain inside her. Yy handed her a tissue.

Play this While Reading Dodo's Story (Continue 2)

This is the background music for the story posted below. Play this while reading. Enjoy