Dodo's Story (Continue 5)

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Author: Dodo (Doreen)

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Previous segment can be found here
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Two weeks later, Dodo sighed as she sat in by the window. Smiling happily, finally Dodo felt a lil relief that she’s finally getting back into her old routine.

“Dodo?” Yy gaped as she came thru her room door.

Before she could answer, Dodo peeked around the corner to see *Tut* coming in, removing his sunglasses.

Dodo: OMG!!
(Dodging behind the window to keep him from seeing me.)

Yy: What?” Yy asked.
Dodo: The guy who juz heading towards here… U have to go out there n tell him that I died or something ok? Hell, tell him I no longer stay here.
Yy: Ok-ok…

*Tut* stared blankly at Yy in front of him. “What do u mean she went to Aus?”
Yy juz shrugged. “She said she needed a major vaca n off for it.”
Locking his jaw, *Tut* nodded. Fine, he knew a brush-off when he heard one.
“Well, tell Miss Dodo …..”

“*Tut*?”

He looked around to see Chris coming.

Chris: What r u doing here?
*Tut*: I came to see Dodo, but this chick said she took off to Aus for a vaca.
Chris: Haha. Tat sounds like Dodo, doesn’t it?
*Tut*: And she’s avoiding me.
Chris: Do u blame her?
*Tut*: Hell, yes I blame her.
Chris: My~ that’s some ego u’ve there. U play around on her n then …
*Tut*: Play around on her?!!! Your receptionist told her u were off with ur other lover for a meeting.
*Tut*: My wat??!!!
Chris: Juz like a man to deny it. Isn’t it, Yy?
*Tut*: Look I don’t know wat u heard, but I don’t have another lover k.
Chris: Well duh. If that’s true, then u have a lot of explaining to do to Dodo.
*Tut*: Well, I’d be happy to if I could ever find her lah.
Chris: Have u tried her cell phone?
*Tut*: Yealah. I tried it thousands times d but no one answered.
Chris: Then keep trying lah.
*Tut*: U know, I’m too old to be playing these high school games. Tell Dodo when she grows up to call me. I might still be around then, but most likely not.

And with that, he headed to his car. To hell with her, he thought. He really didn’t need this shit.

MSN's Picture Confusion

Do I (refering to the picture below)

look like a camel?

LOLs!

The other day I was chatting with Alvin on MSN, and this was his MSN's display photo.

The Conversation:

Myst3RY says:
why do ya have a camel in ur msn?

Alvin... says:
camel? where?

Myst3RY says:
er..ur msn display picture?

Alvin... says:
that's a koala

Myst3RY says:
is that not a camel?

Myst3RY says:
OH....now i see koala.....It looks like farking camel lying sideway on the floor

Alvin... says:
hahaha

Myst3RY says:
dunno if you see it or not

Alvin... says:
hmmm.. dont see it, did you just smoke weed?

Alvin, this is why and how I saw a camel from the picture.

Anyone here see Camel rather than Koala?

Try standing back from the screen, and blur your focus.

No?

Maybe it's just me getting old.

Eye sight ain't that sharp as it used to be.

Only in Australia

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish Pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit onSwedish Furniture and watchAmerican shows on aJapanese TV.

Oh and...... Only in Australia ...

Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ...
Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ...
Do people order double cheeseburgers, large Fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia ...
Do banks leave both doors open and chain the Pens to the counters.

Only in Australia ...
Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia ...
Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia ... Are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...
* 3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
* 58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
* 31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
* 8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
* A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. And finally.........

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Dodo's Story (Continue 4)

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Author: Dodo (Doreen)

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Previous segment can be found here
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“Dodo? U hear me?”

Dodo came awake slowly to the sound of Yy’s commanding, somewhat irritated voice. At first, she thought she had fallen asleep at her desk again. Until she tried to move n couldn’t. Panicking, she opened her eyes and met Yy’s concerned look. Her throat was so sore tat she could barely swallow. The strong smell of antiseptic stung in her nose n she heard the beeps from a monitor over her left shoulder.

Looking around, she took in the small hospital room as well as the faces of Chris n her classmates who were crowded around her bed to see her.

“Oh thank God.” Chris breathed as she took Dodo’s right hand in hers. “We’re scared to death u’re in a coma or something ler.”

In tat instant everything came rushing back. Dodo remembered the car tat had cut them off n Fred yelling as he swung over into traffic. Worst of all, she recalled the bike skidding n falling n her body tumbling thru the air, then across pavement tat seemed to tear up her skin. The last thing she remembered was coming to rest beneath the front end of a car. Of staring up at an engine n feeling the heat of it on her face as sirens rang out in the background. N then everything had gone black.

“The guy u’re with is ok,” Chris told her. “He banged up his leg, but they sent him home a lil while ago.”

“Did I break anything???” Dodo asked.

Yy shook her head. “U hav a concussion n hit ur head pretty hard on the street. The doc wants to keep u here for a few days n juz to c how u’re doin before u go home alone.”

Everyone had been assuring her tat she’s alright n it wasn’t till the next morning tat Dodo fully understood their words. It wasn’t juz her head tat had been hurt. It was her face. N the doc explained cheerfully tat he assured Dodo tat he can do a nice job though she won’t quite look the way she did before the accident.

As his words filtered thru her mind, Dodo could feel the tears rolling down from the corner of her eyes. N she couldn’t even wipe them! Something tat was hard for a gal who prided herself on being self-sufficient.


*Tut* came off from the stage feeling re-energized. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this good about a performance.
(They had actually liked him! No, not juz liked, they had loved him. Man, a guy could get used to this. The only thing was me. If he could juz have me there to share it, it would be even better, right? Sighs….)

By the time *Tut* made it back to his apartment, he was exhausted. Man, how did rock bands manage such tours? It was hell on the body. He threw himself on his sofa n dialed Dodo’s number. The one good thing was that he had finally learned it by heart. Again it rang n the answering machine tat she set on her cell phone picked up. “Ugh!!!” he snapped, tossing the phone away. He was an attractive guy, he didn’t need to waste his time on some chick who couldn’t be bothered to even phone him once in a while. He had more important things to do. Leaning bck, he closed his eyes n pushed Dodo completely out of his thoughts.

Wedding of the Year

I would like to share with you one of the worst experiences of my life.

As you know, I don't like weedings, and usually with good reason. There now follows the reason why I don't like weddings.

So here you will see the motley collection of Groom, Best Man and other assorted males. The one sporting the red shirt and trainers is the Groom.

I think some confusion must have ensued as to what the dress code actually was. Some red ties, some black and one with no tie whatsoever.

I also thought the choice of location for the photographs was also quite astonishing. Opposite the church was a row of garages, and it appeared to be the most suitable backdrop, presumably to prevent any upstaging of the men here pictured And so, as if couldn't get any worse, the bride arrived...

Not everyone can pull off such a vibrant red, but here i think they manage it quite well.

Now in my experience there is usually a bride, a couple of thin bridesmaids and one great wopping on on the end. But in this case the FAT bridesmaid has become the bride.

Alarm bells, should, incidentally, be ringing around now.

If they aren't they will be soon.

Deciding that the backdrop may actually improve the picture, the happy couple strolled into an adjoining field for this wonderful picture.

It was noted during the exposure of this wonderfully composed image that the groom's head was roughly the same size as her left breast, and probably contained a similar sort of substance.

This is one of my favourites.
What is she showing us here? A severe case of knee gout?
whatever it is she is doing, the husband is in even more fine fettle than certainly i thought was possible.


Mentally disabled is probably the term best used here.
or FAT PIG and ugly little WEASEL. I'm sure they have the same effect.

Here, let you help you up

Our good looking groom is apparently reaching for something and having trouble locating it.

Perhaps a forklift truck might help raise the blockage???

I think this proves to us all that there is someone out there for all of us.

let's just hope they don't breed.

Kamasutra by FHM

This is a clip from FHM ladies featuring Kamasutra.

Titled - 28 days: 1 day for one position.

A person as innocent as me, do not understand a single bit of the video (hehe!)

Anyone care to tell me?

18SX!

Underage Children Click here

Dodo's Story (Continue 3)

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Author: Dodo (Doreen)
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Previous segment can be found here
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By noon, Dodo had stared at the phone so much, she thought she might be going blind.

Yy: Oi, wat r u doing?
Dodo: I’m waiting on a call.
Yy: From?
Dodo: *Tut*.
Yy: *Tut*? Guitar *Tut* ar?
Dodo: Ana. Abeh whoelse.
Yy: Why?
Dodo: He told me he would call me later ler.
Yy: Call u later. When?
Dodo: I don’t know lar. That’s why I’m staring at the phone lar.
Yy: Could u please elaborate?
Dodo: We spent the whole night together.
Yy: Oh gosh Dodo, u didn’t sleep with him, did u?
Dodo: Wah kao...mai siao lar. Where got so sui bian. Of coz I didn’t.
Yy: Will u nvr learn? U don’t juz go yamcha with a guy whole night then expect him to call. Really Dodo, u hav to take time n develop a relationship first ma. Didn’t ur mum ever tell u a man won’t buy a cow when he gets milk for free?
Dodo: Watever.
Yy: Then call him lar.
Dodo: Wat?
Yy: Call him. Do u know his number?
Dodo: Yeah.
Yy: Then call him lar. Aiyo.
Dodo: Will u stand here while I do it?
Yy: Why?
Dodo: I need moral support lar.
Yy: Ok. If it’ll make u feel better, I’ll stand here till u two get mushy lah.

Dodo dialed *Tut*’s work number.
Dodo: Um, yeah. Can I speak to *Tut* please?
Receptionist: I’m sorry. He’s not in.
Dodo: Oh? When will he be back?
Receptionist: I don’t know. He juz took off this morning n didn’t say anything. Oh wait, yeap he did. He left me a msg to tell Jess that he’d be late for dinner tonite so keep it warm n be ready for him. R u Jess?
(The moment I heard tat name I was like WAT??!! I couldn’t answer the woman on the phone.)

Receptionist: Miss? R u Jess?
(Numbly, I hung up the phone.)

“Dodo?” Yy asked. “U ok bor?”

Dodo couldn’t speak. It was all she could do to juz sit there n not scream. Who the hell was Jess anyway??!!! His gf???!! This was real n *Tut* had been two-timing them both. (I ain’t know if this is the right term of saying it. Instead of wat ….one leg steps two boats huh?? Duh. Whatever it is…juz skip that part yah.)

Tears gathered in her eyes n Dodo struggled to hold them back. *Tut* had toyed her feelings, lied to her and left without a word. Damn him!! Damn his sorry, rotten egg!!
(Jeez man! Yy was right. I’m a cow. A big, dumb, stupiak cow!)

She had to get outta here. Outta room right now! She needed time to think. Time to …. Oh, she didn’t know wat she needed other than a break. She snatched up her bag and headed out.

“Dodo!” Yy called out.

Still she didn’t stop. She didn’t wanna talk right now. She juz wanna be left alone to sort thru her conflicting emotions. Dodo headed to her “Green Beetle” n decided the mall was juz wat she needed.

For an hour and a half, she went to stores, charging like a bull. Yeah, she’d hav a time paying for it, but right now she juz wanted to pamper herself. Dammit, she saved hard for her money n it’s hers to spend.

By the time she got bck to the home 3 hours later, she felt a lil better. But *tut* was still a babi! A big, hairy, nasty, three-toed, tree babi!

Yy: Hey Do. U okay?
Dodo: Fine.
Yy: Did u do something to ur hair at lunch ar?
Dodo: I got it cut. Bob haircut. Wat’d u think?
Yy: It’s cute.
Dodo: But it makes my face stand out right? I thought so too. So I made an appointment with Dr. Lim.
(I asked as I began clicking for my email.)

Yy: That crazy fella who advertises his plastic surgery clinic on tv??
Dodo: Same lar. They’re havin a special two-one thing. I figured I could get my eyes fixed n hav him suck some fat outta my ass.
Yy: Dodo! Don’t be stu lar.

Dodo was tired of being Dodo. She wanted to be someone else for a while. Maybe if she changed her hair, her style, n got new face, she’d feel better. Anything would be an improvement at this point. N at any rate, she couldn’t feel any worse about herself than she felt at this moment. An eye job could only be a step up.

As her housemate’s annoyance broke out on her behalf, Dodo felt overwhelmed by her loyalty n luv, n before she knew it, she’s crying!!! Yy hugged her as she sobbed out the pain inside her. Yy handed her a tissue.

Play this While Reading Dodo's Story (Continue 2)

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